お帰り。 sigh.

sure, yea. ただいま。

——

I’ve been back less than a week. Let’s just say I’m tolerating it.

I had such a great time in Tokyo; it was everything I had hoped for, and more (to reduce the trip to a cliché). Every time a day threatened to become disappointing, I managed to find a way to turn it around. Most days my itinerary was “walk around” and that plan never failed.

But now I’m back, back in Portland and at work, and, in five days, I’ll be having surgery to repair the arthritis damage in my right thumb. That will be nice to have done, but it will also be difficult to go through rehab. Not to mention a week of pain from the surgery itself. Whee.

As a bona fide Japanophile, the thought that dominates all others for me is: how do I get back? Is it possible for me to live over there? And if not, how can I put myself in a position to maximize my time there? Lots of people ask themselves the same questions, whether about Japan or another country they’ve fallen in love with.

We each have to work our way to our own answers.

The easiest solution, of course, would be to have lots of money. Right, okay, sure.

I have other possibilities in mind, starting with this blog (always a sure-fire money-maker) but some other things I have interest in. It’s too early yet to have any idea what’s the most viable possibility, so I am dealing with the things that are before me now and that need to be taken care of whatever my path ends up being.

Next year, surgery on the left thumb (if the VA still exists).

Learning Japanese (at last).

An affordable place to live so I can quit working full-time.

And just to add to the questions and stress, I am one of the tens of millions with student loans.

So “making plans” isn’t a thing yet. Which is a good thing; making plans tends to devolve quickly into future fantasies. I cannot plan, for example, on moving to Japan and living there because that is not possible at this point. It can be one of several goals and possibilities, but it’s not something to spend a lot of time on today.

Today requires me to do what is possible and necessary right here, right now.

Writing

Going through two different trips’ worth of images and video

Getting healthier

Studying and practicing Japanese

Saving money

These are present-tense activities I don’t have to plan for; these are things I can do today as my life is right now. If I don’t begin here, I’ll never be more than an occasional tourist with a lot of regret.